{"id":608,"date":"2004-08-14T10:35:29","date_gmt":"2004-08-14T10:35:29","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.john-howe.com\/blog\/?p=608"},"modified":"2020-09-25T08:39:57","modified_gmt":"2020-09-25T07:39:57","slug":"global-village","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.john-howe.com\/blog\/global-village\/","title":{"rendered":"Global Village"},"content":{"rendered":"

Or Where I Meet a Citizen of the World and am Suitably Impressed<\/h4>\n

The other day, on a caf\u00e9 terrace, in a conversation with a group of acquaintances, I blithely asked someone where they were from. (Simple curiosity, a belated attempt to vanquish my sempiternal timidity and enhance my conversational and social skills.)
\n\u201cOh, I\u2019m a citizen of the world.\u201d was the reply.
\n\u201cSorry,\u201cI said, \u201cI\u2019m a bit slow, what do you mean by \u201ccitizen of the world\u201d?\u201d
\n\u201cOh you know man , like where you\u2019re from is just not important, I\u2019m at home everywhere.\u201d
\nMan, that is NOT the thing to say to me, even when I\u2019m just back from holiday. I loathe and abhor this kind of bourgeois self-sufficient flippancy and shallowness. Let\u2019s just say that a rather animated discussion followed\u2026 so much for my trist try at being sociable\u2026<\/p>\n

It turned out this global villager was from Detroit of all places, spoke only English (plus a few Swiss-German swear words learned from his grandfather), had never visited much anything else in the US (well, okay, Las Vegas) and was on his second trip abroad (the first one being across the river to Windsor, Ontario).<\/p>\n

Citizen of the world, sure\u2026 my wife speaks several languages, has seen three times more of the world than I, and to get her a simple tourist visa to accompany me to the US (she is Iranian, a citizenship patria non grata at most embassies)\u00a0 we must provide:<\/p>\n

Her current passport and ALL expired passports.
\nHer resident\u2019s permit here in Switzerland.
\n2 photos from a professional photographer.
\nMy reason for going to the US, along with a letter saying she will accompany me.
\nProof we will return to Switzerland and not seek asylum in the US (airline tickets, etc.)
\nPapers proving we have a house, and any other proof that she has sufficient incentive to return home.
\nOur son\u2019s passport and proof he lives with us here (one of the reasons she might wish to go back.)
\nProof we have somewhere to stay while in the US.
\nA resum\u00e9 of where we will go, who we will see and what we will do while in the US.
\nOur marriage certificate.
\nProof of health and travel insurance.
\nMy registration at the chamber of commerce. (As an independant, I have no employer, thus I must prove I have a profession to go back to. I can see myself now\u2026 \u201cBut I designed a history-making blockbuster fantasy movie trilogy!\u201d \u201cI\u2019m sorry sir, that\u2019s not sufficient evidence of a profession.\u201d)
\nThree months of bank statements (proof of sufficient funds).
\nA 100 dollar fee (non-refundable, whatever the outcome of the application).<\/p>\n

All this must be set in motion at least 6 or 7 months before the trip, since it takes several months just to get an appointment and then a further 3 months (minimum) to get the visa\u2026.
\nBut, I certainly appreciate their preoccupation with our wellbeing. Imagine we got invited by just anyone, who\u2019d put us up in a spare cupboard and feed us cat food\u2026
\nI think they have borrowed the handbook from the defunct Soviet Union. Point by point it\u2019s about what you needed to visit the former Eastern Block (now the \u201cnew\u201d Europe).
\nWalls come down. Walls go up.
\nIt\u2019s in their nature.
\nSome are made of stone, some of paper.
\nEither way, when you\u2019re standing behind one you\u2019ve built, it seriously restricts your view of the horizon.<\/p>\n

For Australia, we both need visas, and must apply for them in Berlin, a mere 600 miles as the crow flies, since the Aussie Embassy in Switzerland no longer issues visas. If you can actually wheedle a reply of some kind out of the embassy, which has a visa help desk that does not respond to e-mails, and has one of these wonderful automated services (\u201cFor English, press one\u2026\u201d) instead of a human being on the line. Needless to say, sending our passports off to a place that will not tell me how long they may decide to keep them is not terribly enticing.<\/p>\n

At least the crow doesn\u2019t need a visa. Yet.<\/p>\n

Global village, anyone?
\n(Just as an aside, the Canadians are no better. Any visit to Canada means applying for my wife\u2019s visa in Paris, with all the hassles that implies. Of course I understand the Canadians needing to be reassured, we\u2019ve only been married 21 years\u2026)<\/p>\n

CAUGHT<\/p>\n

Lunch with my illustration professor and the film crew, or the risks of sitting across from someone quick on the draw\u2026
\nUsually I move just fast enough to keep ahead of clicking shutters, but I didn\u2019t see this one happening.
\n(Paper tablecloths in restaurants are an illustrators\u2019 delight. Every time a bunch of us get together, we fill the table with doodles. Want a free drawing? Invite an illustrator to lunch, but choose a place where they have paper tablecloths\u2026)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\n
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Notice how in a few lines, Claude captured my receding hairline, ugly nose, permanent squint, crummy posture and scrubby beard. No, I mean notice how in a few masterful strokes he captured my high and noble forehead, penetrating gaze, patrician nose, ever-attentive equipoise and distinguished and patriarchal beard.
\nI must remember to keep moving a little faster\u2026
\nSOLID STUFF<\/p>\n

Thank goodness for things like film shoots – otherwise I would only leave the house to go shopping for groceries and art supplies. When this documetary airs, it will appear I spend my days romping about the landscape, climbing cliffs, swimming rapids,\u00a0 poking about in crypts and cathedrals, and generally meeting famous people left and right\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\n
\"\"<\/a><\/center><\/div>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n

Well, of course I look worried. Wouldn\u2019t you look worried too? I swear I saw that thing move. Hieronymous Bosch would have felt right at home in H.R. Giger\u2019s garden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\n
\"\"<\/a><\/center><\/div>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n

Trying to sort out my microphone\u2026 Come on you guys, we come all the way to meet the greatest name in sci-fi art and my *\u201d%& mike doesn\u2019t work?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\n
\"\"<\/a><\/center><\/div>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n

Checking to make sure that the castle of Chillon<\/a> is still the same since my grandmother drew it in 1890. Hmm, let me see, that freeway seems to be new\u2026<\/p>\n

Otherwise, I believe there\u2019s a bit of news<\/a> on Solid Entertainment\u2019s documentary site.
\nAll photos \u00a9 Chris Maris\/Solid Entertainment
\nTHE DEEP END<\/p>\n

What have I done with this last week? Certainly not drawn anything, but scanned, colour corrected, resized, saved as\u2026, burnt CDs, prepared FedEx shipments, reviewed layouts, approved layouts, corrected texts, written countless e-mails and generally been bathed in the unhealthy glow of the computer screen. What HAVE I done wrong? And here I used to sneer at those artists who spend more time wheeling and dealing in imagery they\u2019ve already done than actually doing anything new\u2026
\nThe worst is that I cumulate two functions in one, that of disorganised and forgetful boss and inefficient and forgetful secretary. At least I get double the coffee breaks.
\nBut, when I look at the calendar, what seems like weeks of it is only days, so there is hope\u2026.<\/p>\n

STUFF TO DO<\/p>\n

Finish reading Bill Bryson\u2019s \u201cA Short History of Nearly Everything\u201d. If only I could remember a tenth of what\u2019s in there, I could pass myself off as middling or at least mildly intelligent.
\nNOT go see \u201cKing Arthur\u201d. Admittedly Guinevere is quite fetching in her leather battle bikini (the boy appeal factor), but WHY is King Arthur wearing chromed American football padding? (The best bit is the mail shirt with the holes under his armpits, which I suppose is to keep him from sweating too profusely while clobbering Saxons\u2026)
\nI\u2019ll wait for \u201cHellboy\u201d. No I won\u2019t, I\u2019ll pick up the DVD, which is out in the US before the movie hits the theatres here\u2026 Sometimes a street in that old global village takes six months to cross.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Or Where I Meet a Citizen of the World and am Suitably Impressed The other day, on a caf\u00e9 terrace, in a conversation with a group of acquaintances, I blithely asked someone where they were from. (Simple curiosity, a belated attempt to vanquish my sempiternal timidity and enhance my conversational and social skills.) \u201cOh, I\u2019m […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[103,104,105,106],"class_list":["post-608","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-chronicles","tag-bill-bryson","tag-chillon","tag-higer","tag-passport"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p1PY8Y-9O","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.john-howe.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/608","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.john-howe.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.john-howe.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.john-howe.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.john-howe.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=608"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.john-howe.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/608\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.john-howe.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=608"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.john-howe.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=608"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.john-howe.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=608"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}