Journalists seem to love what they call the \u201cQuestionnaire de Proust\u201d, a mix-and-match potpourri of short and unanswerable questions designed to\u2026 to what? Actually, come to think of it, I cannot see any real purpose to being asked \u201cWhat animal are you?\u201d or \u201cWhat colour are you\u201d, except that it is assuredly easier than preparing REAL questions.<\/p>\n
Most interviewees seem to have assembled an equally inane series of replies, and this verbal ping-pong seems to pass for an intelligent conversation.
\nUnable to even remember the simplest of jokes, I can never organize my thoughts long enough to be so glib, thus I end up seriously pondering each of these ridiculous interrogations, digging my own grave a bit deeper with each answer.
\nThere always seems to be a \u201cWhat was the first time you\u2026\u201d question or two in the lot, and these leave me even farther at sea (or digging even faster, depending on whether you prefer your metaphores of the nautical or the graveyard kind).<\/p>\n
For a long time, I replied that I couldn\u2019t remember, that I have the memory of a gadfly with amnesia, that I find last times far easier to recall – anything to move to the next question and possible salvation or at least redemption. I have also tried for ages to develop a politician\u2019s skills – ignore all questions and talk about YOUR agenda regardless – but it doesn\u2019t work for me.
\nEach question nudges me off balance. An interview is the equivalent of walking a tightrope with no safety net, each question ranging from gentle breeze to gale force gust. No two from the same direction.
\nAnd, inevitably, comes the \u201cwhat was the first time you\u2026\u201d question, the one that will equally inevitably sweep me from my precarious footing and send me plummetting haplessly into the deep chasm of the botched interview.<\/p>\n
I\u2019m also one of those sorry individuals who dreams up the ultimate retort about a day later, or more likely at 3 a.m. wide awake and mulling bitterly over what I SHOULD have said, like some orchardist turning wrinkled crab apples on a tray in midwinter and finding they are all mouldy or spotted with rust.
\nRecently, I was reeling in the contrary winds of an interview, wondering what the devil I could possibly say when, in one of those epiphanic moments, I had the answer.<\/p>\n
EVERY time I do ANYTHING, it\u2019s the FIRST time. Every time I look at the sky or a tree or a wave is the first time I\u2019ve ever seen those things. Every time I do a picture it\u2019s the first time I\u2019ve set pencil or brush to paper (admittedly, I do have a little technical experience, though I do tend to function according to the theory of lateral colour proximity – if the colour I need is all the way across the studio, I\u2019ll choose another one I can reach without getting up). Every sentence I write is the first one I\u2019ve ever penned, every bright dawn is the first sunrise, as is every bout of storm and despair.
\nIt\u2019s all new, no matter how many times it\u2019s been.<\/p>\n
Now, while this all may play the odd trick on me when I\u2019m meeting people I should remember, it is vital to the business of LOOKING at things. (With me, \u201cre\u201d is never very firmly attached to \u201ccognition\u201d.) So now, when asked \u201cwhen did you do your first drawings?\u201d, I can truthfully answer \u201cI\u2019ll tell you next week, when I\u2019ve done them.\u201d<\/p>\n
And it can\u2019t be that this inherent novelty of circumstance is a recurrent theme here.<\/p>\n
I\u2019m absolutely certain this is the first time I\u2019ve mentioned it.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Or What Was That Question Again? Journalists seem to love what they call the \u201cQuestionnaire de Proust\u201d, a mix-and-match potpourri of short and unanswerable questions designed to\u2026 to what? Actually, come to think of it, I cannot see any real purpose to being asked \u201cWhat animal are you?\u201d or \u201cWhat colour are you\u201d, except that […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1765","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-chronicles"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p1PY8Y-st","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.john-howe.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1765","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.john-howe.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.john-howe.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.john-howe.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.john-howe.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1765"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.john-howe.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1765\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.john-howe.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1765"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.john-howe.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1765"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.john-howe.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1765"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}